Navigating the Holidays: A Survival Guide for the Emotionally Exhausted

Dec 23

Ah, the holidays. A time for joy, gratitude, and, let’s be real, an extra heaping of emotional overwhelm. If you’re someone fresh out of an emotionally abusive relationship or navigating the murky waters of self-discovery, this time of year might feel less like a Hallmark movie and more like a survival show.

But don’t worry—you’re not alone. Let’s break down some strategies to help you protect your peace, set boundaries, and maybe even find a little joy amidst the chaos.

1. Set Realistic Expectations (For Yourself and Others)

The holiday season comes with its own set of pressures:

Be cheerful.
Show up to every event.
Find the perfect gift (or fifteen).

But here’s the truth: You don’t have to do it all. If your emotional bandwidth feels like it’s running on dial-up, give yourself permission to scale back. Remember, saying "no" is not only an option—it’s a survival skill.

2. Boundaries Are Your Best Friend

Family gatherings can be… tricky, especially if there are people who love to comment on your life choices or push your buttons. (You know, the ones who’ve perfected the art of a backhanded compliment.)

Practice a few phrases to shut down uncomfortable conversations. For example: “I’m not comfortable talking about that right now.” Or my personal favorite: “Let’s save that for another time.”
Limit your time at events that feel draining. An Irish goodbye is 100% holiday-approved.

3. Create Your Own Traditions

Who says you need to stick with the traditions that don’t serve you?

Order Chinese food and binge your favorite love reality TV shows.
Host a “pajamas-only” Friendsgiving.
Spend the day at Target and call it self-care.

The goal is to reclaim this time of year for you. Celebrate in ways that reflect your journey and bring genuine joy.

4. Manage Those "What Will People Think?" Moments

If you’re still shaking off the belief that you have to please everyone, the holidays can feel like a minefield. Here’s a mantra for you: "Their opinions are not my responsibility."

Repeat it. Write it on your mirror. Tattoo it on your arm if you need to.

Your worth is not tied to:

How many events you attend.
How much effort you put into the gift exchange.
Whether or not Aunt Susan thinks you’re doing “okay” post-breakup.

5. Lean Into Support

You don’t have to face the season solo. Whether it’s leaning on friends, scheduling a therapy session (yes, even during the holidays), or joining a community that gets it, support is out there. Bonus points if you recruit someone to make sure you don’t say “yes” to every single invitation.

6. Embrace the Messiness

Look, the holidays don’t have to be perfect to be meaningful. There might be awkward moments, misplaced feelings, or even a few tears. That’s okay. Growth is messy—so is healing—and the holidays are no exception.

Celebrate your courage to show up for yourself, even when it feels hard. Every moment you choose authenticity over obligation, you’re giving yourself the gift of freedom.

You Deserve Peace This Holiday Season

This time of year might come with its challenges, but it’s also an opportunity to honor where you are and take small steps toward where you want to be. Protect your energy, prioritize your needs, and remind yourself that it’s okay to opt out of traditions that don’t align with your healing.

The holidays may not feel magical right now, but trust me—you’re building something far better than temporary holiday cheer. You’re building a life that’s fully, authentically yours.